When you think of bravery, what images come to mind?
I was recently asked this question from the host of the She Walks Brave podcast. Think about that question. It’s a great question! What comes to your mind?
First, I had to define for myself what bravery is. Here is what I came up with. Not very catchy, but true for me:
Bravery is stepping into what’s uncomfortable for the right reasons
Told you it wasn’t catchy.
We’re in a time where lives are curated and promoted in all sorts of ways. We admire those who do impressive, brave acts, like writing a book, moving across the world, or starting some amazing work for justice. And, we should celebrate these. But, this question caught my attention: what images come to mind?
For me, the bravest steps have been those taken in the dark. Deciding to quit a job that was no longer a good fit for me. Making an appointment with a therapist. Caring for a sick mom, and aging father. Exploring ways of engaging with God outside my tradition.
But when I think of images, along with the big wins as mentioned above, I think of my brother and sister in law who are navigating the scary path of a degenerative, incurable disease, with their three sons. I think of my sister in law who goes every month for follow up blood tests to see where her cancer markers are. I think of my friends who are trying to move away from lives lived in the gang culture with so much working against them. I think of friends who are living single after decades of marriage and learning to live life alone with all its challenges. I picture my friends who are struggling with mental illness, or living with someone who does, and how much courage it takes to get out of bed each day. My single friends who shows up again and again to a church full of couples and kids. And, my friend who is walking through postpartum depression bravely nursing a fussy baby. I could go on and on. Brave, brave people who will never post a meme of their lives.
I think of my adult kids who are asking hard questions about faith, immigration, politics, sexuality, parenting, etc. And, I think of how much courage it takes for my husband and I to sit at the table with them and grapple all the topics without judgment or alienation. Sometimes it’s brave to simply say, “I don’t know.”
Most of the steps I’ve taken into the uncomfortable have been small steps in comparison to what others face. But, each step leads to greater strength and compels me to live more authentically as the woman God designed me to be. And, big bonus, these brave steps draw me closer to God.
In 2012, I was certified as a Spiritual Director. Spiritual Direction is an unknown practice in the churches I grew up in. Some friends questioned my path and were concerned for me. Learning to use my voice and speak up for what I believe, is brave. Standing up for equality of women in the church was an uncomfortable step that many don’t agree with. I have had to accept that and be brave enough to not let their opinion silence me, or to interpret their disagreement as a personal rejection.
My husband and I have had some pretty big waves crash on our shore. And we, one step at at time, (or maybe one stumble at a time), bravely stepped into forgiveness, reconstruction, and deep personal work to grow stronger and truer in our marriage.
Yes, I’ve done some bigger, flashier things in my life, but I’m convinced now that the daily steps of bravery into the uncomfortable for the right reasons are the bravest steps of all. So think about it. What images come to your mind? What steps from your own life? Not leaps, but steps. I’d love to hear.
