Do you LIKE me?

Do you LIKE me?
What if there was no LIKE button?

Would we still post our pictures? Our pithy phrases? Share our opinions or funny memes? Write blogs? Or, share articles?

What’s underneath why we do what we do?

Everyone has an opinion about social media platforms. Some love them and freely express anything and everything. Some never post, comment on, like or unlike anything, but secretly spy on those who do. Some dip in and out, going on and off for all kinds of reasons. Some use it to express anger and hate and divisive views on everything from breastfeeding to refugees. Some use it for campaigning their work or cause. Some avoid it completely.

Whether we like it or not, it’s here and it has impact. I don’t bring this up to deliniate the pros and cons of social media. I bring it up because I’ve been contemplating what’s underneath it all and asking myself: what are we hoping to gain when we engage with it? Probably because I’m putting myself out there more as I revive this old blog. I’m questioning myself .

Is our need for affirmation a selfish thing? Is our need to be seen, known, heard and respected wrong? 

Do you like me?

[I know some of you are hearing Sally Field in your head right now gushing, "you like me! You really like me!" But, seriously, has there ever been a more honest acceptance speech?]

Remember when social media didn’t exist? It wasn’t that long ago. Back in “those days” (sorry kids), you only knew what was going on with someone when you actually saw them, or talked to them on the phone. Listening to tone, seeing facial expressions, and hearing why people were feeling the way they do. Responding with an audible voice, you'd share your perspective in the context of the relationship. And, it didn’t happen with that many people. Relatively few when you think about it. Our vulnerability was reserved for a select few. This still happens, but you have to admit it's a fading experience in our current smart phone culture. Trying to discern tone in a text can be tricky (and dangerous).

Back to my question. What if there was no LIKE button? I think engagement in social media is screaming out what our hearts have always longed for. To be seen. To be heard. And, to be affirmed. To know we’re loved and accepted and that we’re being cheered on as we navigate this bumpy path of life. God designed us to be that voice of encouragement in each other’s lives. Several passages in Scripture tell us to build each other up, use wholesome, edifying words, to encourage* one another, and to walk alongside those who are weak or hurting or wandering. We see that we’re all in process and there is grace for each step, as tense and messy as it may be.

Read the account of almost any Bible character and you will see this transforming process come to life! I guarantee you that if they were posting their opinions and pictures along the way, there would be many posts we would raise our eyebrows at and judge immediately. We’d probably block many of them from our feed! All of Paul’s letters encourage us to be kind, patient, tenderhearted, forgiving and bound together in love. Is there anything more affirming than that? Why did he have to keep repeating the same message? Because we’re not good at doing this. It’s so much easier to criticize and judge. Jesus summed it up in one sentence, “do to others as you would like them to do to you.” As my hubby would say: "BOOM!" Yes, Jesus is the Source of Love, but we are the embodiment of love for each other.

I confess, I need affirmation. I need people in my life that believe in me no matter what. I have a LIKE button that needs positive responses. When people choose to follow me on this blog, it encourages me to keep writing. If I make a brave decision, even if you wouldn't make the same, I need to know you're still for me. I need those voices in my life. And, I think you do too, no matter how thick your skin has become. 

I've decided if I am not close enough to you to have a real conversation, I won't voice an opinion that could hurt you from my keyboard (or from a microphone, or behind a pulpit). Golden rule rules! And, here's a tip, if you just can't help yourself, you can hide or unfollow anyone at anytime. Step away and take some time to do what Jesus said to do: Pray they would be blessed. If I were engaging with you as a spiritual director, and you explained the angst you feel around following some people on line, I would sincerely ask you, "why are choosing to still follow him/her?"

I can tell my self all day long that other peoples opinions of me don't matter, and there's some truth in that. But, whether I'm affirmed or not does. My soul needs true companions just like Jesus' did. Through thick and thin. It's humbling to confess that need, but I do.

Whether we engage in social media or not, or if we agree with one another or not, I pray we can accept and encourage one another with God's help. 

Romans 15:7 says, 

 Accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory.

 I have fallen short of this instruction far too many times. When I think deeply about how Christ accepted me, I am humbled and grateful. Unconditional, complete acceptance. The more I let that soak into my soul, the easier it becomes to authentically accept others. I pray that this incredible grace overflows from me bringing God glory.

Can we look for ways to press the LIKE button for each other in new, creative, authentic ways? Don't hesitate to affirm someone today. Maybe even someone you wouldn't normally encourage.

What affirms you?  Share this post with someone you'd like to affirm, or be encouraged by. Are you wanting to make a change? Do something brave? Let's cheer one another on. We have enough in life trying to tear us apart. 

*encourage in the New Testament is a verb (parakaleo) and it means to call to one's side (to call near); to comfort; to exhort and admonish or affirm.